so am i (and my family) the only people on the damn planet who know how to communicate in a mature fashion? OMG (shout out to b.) why the hell do i have to CONSTANTLY remind people how to not be either
1. babies
2. selfish
3. passive-aggressive
4. annoying
5. bossy
so there are a few people in my life who pretty much on a consistant basis i'd like to surprise with a slap on the back of the head. one person comes to mind right now as someone i fell like i have to constantly take a step back, help her to see the OTHER person's side and for just ONCE ask, hey, how does this work for YOU!? this person is a sweet girl...she just moved into a new apartment and she wanted me & j. to come see it.
first of all, it's on the complete other side of town, she JUST moved in so all there is to see are BOXES in a white-wall apartment and the truth is j. and i are f*ing desperate for time these days. time not driving, time not commited to his family, time where we are not at work.
BUT DOES ANYONE ASK US, HEY GUYS! I KNOW YOU'RE SUPER BUSY THESE DAYS AND YOU'D PROBABLY LIKE TO JUST CHILL, BUT I'D LIKE YOU TO COME SEE MY PLACE, WHEN IS A GOOD TIME FOR YOU!?!?
but instead it's, 'why don't you come over now', 'why don't you come over now', 'what else do you have to do?'
oh, and by the way, usually when people want you to see their place, they throw a party or at least fix you dinner. a drink or something! at least that's what I think when i move into a new place but maybe i got dropped on my head too many times when i was an infant.
oh, and this i love, from another friend who is totally mom to everyone and bossy as hell sometimes, ms. 'there is a right way to do everything' just loved to remind me that 'she just wants you to see the place'. no f*ing shit.
yeah, i just want everyone to leave me the hell alone and ask me FOR ONCE what i am doing and what is a priority to me. i have never in my life assumed that anyone was just SOOOO eager to sacrifice their time & their priorities for mine. it's called asking & remembering that the world doesn't revolve around YOU. fortunately j. is on my side & will stick up for me.
and it's not just the apartment thing. it's always something. literally our calendar finds itself FULL a month at a time. grrrr.
please tell me i'm not the only one who has to deal with this. i'm so damn drained by having to 'de-code' and remind grown adults how to communicate. but honestly, they better watch the hell out cuz whatever pregnancy does to you to make you crazy & opinionated and unable to deal with bullshit i have received a double-dose.
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About Me
- e.r.richards
- i am a wife and a mom and i feel most like myself when i am making something
4 comments:
Oy! (shakes head) I feel for you, I understand. I totally do. And sadly for your childless friends, it only gets worse once baby is born.
I have a good girl friend who lives in San Fran and who was in WA last Thanksgiving. We had made plans for such and such time and day because of course I have to coordinate a sitter and drive an hour to Seattle to see her. The short of it is she went out the night before and got too drunk to make our scheduled time then proceeded to get all grumpy with me when I couldn't be "flexible" enough to make new plans work. Hell-fucking-o?
So yes it is super annoying and believe it or not but married with children will be enough to make some friends go away. . . but if they don't value that lifestyle same as you and they can't step back to look at the big picture then let 'em go. And with any luck the door of life will wallop them in the ass on their way out.
i would say i agree with b, although i haven't had to juggle the marriage aspect, so while i am tempted to sing the praises of the power of NO, i haven't been in the same situation as you so i'll wait and see what happens when that day comes =)
Wow. As one of these childless friends, I would like to say I value your lifestyle.
thank you b! i'm so glad i'm not the only one. it is sad that the friends list is going to get shorter but i'm done with the bs anyway, so bring it on. as for keri, i believe that you will be the best non-blood aunt in the world.
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