stop fakin' it

so week 12 has brought wonderous changes. no vomiting this morning. a managable appetite. and a fervor for life.

oh yeah, and a phase of self-discovery that i'm looking forward to diving into. i've been in this place before, but visiting it again i am refreshed with a new sense of confidence.

i'm done with friends who cannot get real.

don't get me wrong, i do believe people have a lot to teach me. sometimes i think i'm even too open to that. it's probably because i've seen quite a bit in my life & i know better than to think that i do have it all figured out. i will never stand in that place where i can confidently say i have nothing left to learn.

and what gets me is how many spiritual people, or those that call themselves so, are in fact not at all. has anyone ever heard of 'work out your salvation with fear & trembling.' to ME this invokes a constant sense of humility. a never ending awe of the one who created us and loved us. i DO think the Lord wants to keep me on my toes.

and this part of me i have forgotten. it was brought to life by these people. and the ministry we were a part of. and never before (and ever since) have i felt more connected to the Spirit i call God. i want to go back to that. to that humility and to that teachability & that awe. some may see it as childish but what were we asked to do? have faith like a child? i think i remember hearing something about that.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE FIGURED IT ALL OUT. STOP FAKING IT. WE ARE ALL ON THIS JOURNEY TOGETHER. GOD IS THE ONLY CONSISTENT THING. BAG YOUR RELIGION & ALL YOUR RIGHT ANSWERS AND IMPRESS ME WITH THE ANSWER, 'I DON'T KNOW'.

my good friend b reminded me that i need to stay true to this honest part of me. i doubt this a lot. i feel like people don't want to hear it. but of course those in my life who are honest are the most refreshing people to me.

ANYHOO what i'm loving today?
sippy cups that are not ugly as sin.